Classic Jonnie Car Jokes : Forecourt Garage Jokes with humour, wipers and pigs to make you laugh and giggle.

A man went into a garage and said "Have you got a wiper blade for my classic?" The Garage owner took a look outside on the forecourt at the half completed project and replied "OK. Seems like a fair deal".

A man went into a garage and said "Have you got a wiper blade for my 'classic'?" The Garage owner took a look outside on the forecourt at the half completed project and with a big grin replied "FOR THAT! You must be joking.".

How do you double the worth of your restoration project? Fill up the petrol tank.

How do you half the worth? Buy some more parts.

"My wife phoned me just before the autojumble, and she said, "I've got water in the carburetor." I was suitably impressed I asked, "where's the car?" she said, "in the river."

I was in out in my Austin Healey the other morning when my boss rang up and told me "You've been promoted". And with that I swerved.
And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again".
And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said, "Now ... you're managing director".
And I drove into a tree. Then a policeman came up and humorously asked, "What happened to you?"
And I said, "I've careered off the road".

The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Jonnie was driving home last week when his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Jonnie, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M4, you must be careful." "You are right" said Jonnie, "But it's not just the one car, it's all of them!"

Jonnie was driving down the road and a saw a 1962 Classic Rolls Royce Silver Cloud coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Jonnie maneuvered such that the oncoming Roller was forced to slow down. Jonnie wound down his window and shouted 'Pig!'. The Rolls-Royce driver looked in his rear view mirror raised his fist and swore profusely. With that the Roller then hit the pig.